So, I have a dirty little secret that you might not know about me. I am not only a photographer, but a teacher as well! I'm currently teaching two days a week at an amazing school with the most gorgeous bunch of students. I've fallen head over heals for these kids and am enjoying the ride of being back in the classroom again after a long stint away.
The other 3 days of the week (and let's face it, 2 days of the weekend as well), I am a work-at-home-mum, focussing on my photography business and attempting to run a household. And you know what? It's bloody hard. Being a work at home mum, for me, means sneaking in snippets of editing, or social media posts, or planning, or completing online workshops, or replying to emails, or ordering prints for 5 minutes here and there during the day, depending on what my kids are doing. My littlies LOVE hanging out with me and talking to me and asking me lots of questions and demanding food and going to the toilet (how dare they want to eat and poo!!) so finding the time is very difficult. It also means working each night to try and keep my head above water with what seems like an endless to-do list.
I suffer badly from 'Mother's Guilt' - am I paying them enough attention? Do I spend too much time on my computer? Do I lose my patience too often? Should I clean the house more often (I dislike cleaning immensely, but I love having a clean house - HELP!!)? Is cereal a suitable substitute for dinner? - and sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it. And then I have a photoshoot with a beautiful family and as soon as I upload their images and I look through the special moments we've captured, it makes it all worthwhile. Going through the images from a shoot is like opening a birthday present as a kid... SO exciting!!
I can't and won't stop doing what I love. What I will do is not be so hard on myself and, with the support of my amazing husband, we will make it all happen. It's not going to be like this forever. Working from home has its perks (yes, you can do your washing while you work... blah!) but working from home AND caring for children is just plain exhausting. One day my littlies will be in school and things will get a little easier. In the meantime, I'll be running around like a mad woman trying not to forget things and trying to be present for my children and teaching and running a photography business and drinking lots and lots and lots of wine (whoops, did I write that out loud?!).
I popped a photo in below... a nice little reminder of why my hubby and I work so hard...